New Beginnings

Dykhouse Wedding

2008-06-22T17:29:00.004-04:00

Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Jeff & Allison Dykhouse. What a great wedding!
We got some pictures before the wedding outside by Reeds Lake. The happy couple!

Waiting anxiously for the wedding to start. The bride thought the moment would never come.

The night is always better with my hubby at my side. Isn't he handsome?

2008-06-18T20:20:00.002-04:00

Check out this guy at the Tigers Game. Click on the "X" to see the most annoying man ever.

This past month has been filled with good friends, good conversations, laughter, tears, and many blessed moments. Here are some pictures to go along with all that has happened. First of all, Justin and I were able to take a vacation to see some of our favorite people in California. We went wine tasting and ate some awesome food. We always eat well when we are together.

We did say Kevin Bacon while strolling down the road in Santa Monica. He is just as cute in person as he is on the movies.

My 1999 Prizm had its last run to Hastings over the past month. We had to say goodbye to Yolanda and bought a 2005 Malibu Maxx, which we love. It rides so nicely and fits us well. It was worth the wait for both of us to drive our crappy cars for so long in order to buy a car that we love and is going to last us until our kids are born. Here is what our car looks like.

Last but not least, I was offered a new job with Hospice of Holland doing Medical Social Work. I started this week and it is quite a change from Lifespan. I am excited to be home at a decent hour most nights and still am able to do what God is calling me to.

Detroit Tigers

2008-05-11T17:13:00.002-04:00

After many stressful weeks, I have found that one of things that brings me the most joy is watching the Detroit Tigers. Although they are not having the greatest year (which is completely dumbfounding) baseball continues to be a true love of mine and Justin's. After working a long week I know that I can look forward to either going to a game or watching them on t.v. We have been to 4 games already and are looking forward to many more this year. Something about Comerica Park is relaxing. Maybe it is the smell of hot dogs and onions or the sound of drunk fans yelling behind me, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Grandma Betty

2008-04-22T20:12:00.003-04:00

Grandma Betty has been with Jesus since early Saturday morning. After years of fighting brain aneurisms and tumors, strokes, and much disability the Lord took her soundly in her sleep. She raised 7 children by herself and always gave more than she took. She was selfless and many stories shared over the past days have resembled just that fact. Although she has been in the nursing home for over 21 years, she was always full of life, smiles, and laughter. She received excellent care and love from her family there and it became her second home.

Thanks Grandma Betty for all the memories and laughs. Thanks for always fighting and being courageous through situations and events that are difficult for anyone to pull through. You will be missed greatly by our family but we find much peace in knowing that you are standing before Jesus. You can now walk, run, dance, and talk like you deserve. We are thankful for the promise of new bodies and lives. We love you Grandma. See you soon.

Many Memories

2008-04-07T20:04:00.005-04:00

It has been such a long time since I have even looked at this blog but am now realizing that I have learned many things over the past few months and shared in many great times that are worth sharing. Here are some pictures with some memories of how faithful and good the Lord has been to us.

During the fall and winter my brother moved in with us as his marriage went through some changes. It was one of the hardest times Justin and I have faced together and one of most growth. We realized the importance and meaning of a Christian marriage. Although I am completely heartbroken for my brother and family, I am thankful for God's provision and love for us through this hardship. It is long from over, but much hope is in the future. It was a wonderful celebration ringing in the New Year with two of the men I love most in my life!

Justin cooked me quite the meal for Valentines Day and we enjoyed our first night as honeymooners (again). Brian moved out and we were able to have a nice night at home together. We ate well, had great conversation, and I was surprised with a Detroit Tigers jersey as a gift. There is not much more meaningful than that!

Although Michigan winters are horrible at times and last WAY TOO LONG, I continue to stand amazed at the beauty of God's sovereign creation. Here are some pictures we took at Holland State Park. The ice went out into the lake near the lighthouse and the smell of winter was all around. Yes, it was cold, very cold. I still think that it is near impossible to find a more beautiful sight than the Lake Michigan in the winter.

The Lord is good. His love endures forever. The Glory of the Lord shines through all the earth. He loves His people. These thoughts have really hit home for me over the past months. We have seen good, bad, and the ugly. God still remains faithful to us.

2007-10-01T20:53:00.001-04:00

After a few weeks with my new job I am realizing how important this work is. I have been in numerous situations where I am uncomfortable and speechless and yet, I always leave feeling as though the Lord used me. Today I met a 62 year old woman with breast cancer who was actively dying. She was in severe pain and was screaming to me through her eyes and facial expressions that she hurt, that she was scared, that she needed me. Although hours later she was still dying, she was comfortable and calm. She was resting and her body was dying as it should.

Sometimes I need to step outside to collect myself and remember why I am doing this. I always leave knowing that I made a difference in the lives of those I meet during such a crucial time in their life. It reminds me of how important it really is to walk with people through their pain. I am learning what it really means to hold someone's hand through some of the scariest times of life. Learning how important a hug can be. Learning how important HOPE is.

It amazes me how much I have learned about the Lord as well as myself through this new position. My eyes are continually opened and my pride continually humbled. Being Jesus with skin on to these families really take on a whole new meaning for me.

2007-09-12T14:11:00.001-04:00

NEW JOB!!

It has happened. God is good. I recieved a job offer from LifeSpan, a place I interviewed at awhile ago. It is a MSW position working with hospice patients and their families. It will be different than anything else I have ever done but I know that I will learn a lot and be able to use my gifts there. I am very excited about this opportunity and even more excited that I don't have to hunt any further for a new job.

I have learned slowly that life really is all about God's timing rather than my own. He always provides.

2007-08-27T18:10:00.000-04:00

WOMAN KILLED BY HER PET CAMEL

If you haven't heard this story yet, it is astounding and very unfortunate. An austrailian woman was given a camel for her 60th birthday by her husband. The woman was later found dead after her 10-month-old male camel weighing about 330 pounds knocked her to the ground with the intent of having sex with her. Yes, sex. Camel experts (not sure what education you need for this) claim that the camel's behavior with the woman was indeed sexual.

Moral of the story......don't buy pet camels for my birthday. I don't want one.

Very unfortunate.

2007-08-06T09:52:00.000-04:00

This past few weeks have been weeks of celebration. I graduate from the University of Michigan with my Masters of Social Work in the end of July with straight A's and flying colors! What a blessing! Go Blue!

From there Justin and I went to Castaway Young Life Club with two couples from church that we LOVE and enjoyed a great week of camp with them. We were able to enjoy all the week's activities, food, conversations, and relaxation time. We pairasailed, rock climbed, canoed, and went on the banana boat. Here are some pictures from our trip. We also saw the biggest man I have ever seen as a leader this week and thought you should see him as well.

We arrived home on August 5th, our FIRST wedding anniversary and it was fun to celebrate that partially together. We will celebrate more next week. This has definately been a few weeks of joys, blessings, and fun times with people we love. Thanks to all who have made the past few weeks wonderful!

2007-07-15T21:32:00.000-04:00

LILY or BOSCO?

You be the judge?!?!?!

Jill picked out her chocolate lab on Saturday morning and here she is. Now she just needs a name. Which name fits the dog? She wants your help. She chose her dog from a liter of 7 and had trouble deciding between the three we are holding because they are so darn cute. She will have her dog in a few weeks so all your input is needed before then for the name. Bonus points will be rewarded if you can figure out where the names came from.

2007-07-11T15:01:00.000-04:00

Just in case you missed Justin's blog. Here is one of the funniest moments of our trip to Cinci. Frenzy this is for you.

2007-07-10T08:09:00.000-04:00

We spent the 4th of July up in Baldwin at a cottage for the week and had some amazing conversation, weather, food, drinks, and card games. The best part was being with some of our friends that we don't get to see much these days but love more than anything in the world. This place is so peaceful in the morning, noon, and nighttime, despite the firework display that Justin and Ron put on for us.

As I approach the end of July I look forward to being done with school and having my MSW. I only have 2 more weeks of classes after today and cannot believe that it is over already! I am ready for the REAL world! A world where I have a job where vacation time is planned, where it is possible to recieve a salary above $20,000, and a world where I have to be an adult with no question. I hope I am mature and ready enough for this! I would appreciate your prayers as I begin job searching and hopefully do some interviewing.

2007-07-02T17:49:00.001-04:00

Justin and I traveled to the Upper Peninsula (God's Country according to our father-in-law) this past weekend. We crossed the bridge, ate some pasties, jerky, and drank some beer. That is what the UP has to offer in a nutshell. We saw an amazing sunset, sat by a campfire and ate some s'mores, at cheese curds and had an allergic reaction, ate Riverside pizza, went to Andy's class reunion and sang some karaoke, and saw lots of deer. I realized there are more deer in the UP than people and there are more restaraunts closed than are open. One thing the UP does have to offer though is beauty, natural beauty. Everything is green and beautiful. It was fun to spend time with family.

2007-06-25T15:22:00.000-04:00

Justin and I just arrived back this past weekend after spending the week in Cincinnati with the youth group. We were able to work in a povery stricken neighborhood and it was a great trip. I worked on this house. We chipped the paint off and primed it on two sides. And yes, the house is crooked and lies on a slant. Justin tore down ceilings of a house (and got really dirty) while others worked with the kids program, gutted a house, or tore down chimneys.

On Tuesday we did the Street Feed where we set up a table near a park and served food to all the homeless people around there. It was an amazing experience. I was able to watch our kids serve a meal to people who admitted to not having eaten in over 3 days. I also was able to talk with some people and hear about how they got to be in the place they were in.
On Thursday we went to the zoo with all the kids in the summer program. It was awesome. I went with three kids but one really tired me out. His name was Eli and his story was very sad. He LOVED the zoo and also loved to run around. It made me realize that I am not ready to be a mom, but also that sometimes the kids who need the most love are the hardest to love.

It is beautiful to see what the church in Cincinnati is doing to love on people in the neighborhood, especially kids. It amazes me how one small church could make such a HUGE difference to so many people. Poverty affects so many people physically, emotionally, and spiritually. BUT, I am convinced that if we all stood up and wanted to make a difference, the world would be a completely different place.

2007-06-13T11:54:00.000-04:00

This past week for my Death, Loss, & Grief class we were asked to fill out an "Advanced Directive & Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care" form as an assignment. For those of you who have never heard of this it is a form allowing someone to name an advocate for them if they are ever in a healh care situation where they, as the patient are unable to make decisions for themselves. I began filling out Justin as my first advocate and my parents as my second and continued on. As I went further and had to make choices about what I would like my advocates to do if I was ever in a vegetative state in terms of pulling the plug, donating organs to others or for medical use, when my quality of life was no longer what I wanted to live in, etc.

This was an extremely difficult thing for me to fill out. I began thinking about what it would mean for me to do this for Justin, which also made me think about what it would mean for me to lose him at such an early age and in our first year of marriage. What would I do? How would I react? How would I get out of bed in the morning? Would I still see the sun shinning like I do now?

Then I began thinking about possibly having Justin or my parents make these decisions for me. How would they really know what I wanted? It made me think that what I may choose now would be different as my other dreams of career and family become more of a reality. This adds so many other factors. Maybe I would want to live in a vegetative or quad. state just to see my child have another birthday or to see my husband smile one last time. How can I possibly make that decision right now?

The idea of losing my family and dreams were hard for me to contemplate and sort through and made me realize how difficult death can be. I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of loss. The loss that I can't even fathom that makes me sick to my stomach just to think about. Class was difficult to sit through yesterday and I am beginning to realize that it is easier for me to deny the fact that people I love will die anytime soon, and the fact that I will be in a situation where Justin may have to pull the plug on me rather than deal with all the mixed emotions that arise with it. Maybe at the end of the semester I will be able to come back and think more about this.

2007-06-06T11:01:00.000-04:00

Yesterday in my Death, Loss, & Grief class we heard from a speaker who had recieved a liver transplant from a 21 year old girl shot in a gang mishap. His story was filled with passion, love, and gratitude for each second of life. I was completely compelled to be a part of such a beautiful opportunity and I ask that you also consider this.

There are 96,000 people in the US on a waiting list for organ donation. 4,000 of them are in Michigan. Knowing the number of people who die each day, this problem should not exist. We have the opportunity to save lives through our own. I realize that you have no idea when or how your earthly life may end, but either way, it shouldn't matter. If your organs are healthy enough to save someone else, isn't it worth the gift?

Here are some common myths about organ donation.....
1. It will cost the donor something. Wrong....the organ reciever (and their insurance) cover the cost of the transplant
2. It will delay the funeral and visitation. Wrong....organ transplants can happen within one day and not delay the funeral process
3. Someone who donates organs can't have an open casket visitation. Wrong....the doctors do whatever possible to keep the body looking as good as possible allowing for an open casket showing
4. I am too old (or too young). Wrong...if your organs are in good shape, age doesn't matter.

I ask that you consider adding your name to list of donors and ask your family and friends to consider it also. Continue the cycle of life by helping someone in need.

Visit.... www.giftoflifemichigan.org to sign up today.

2007-05-15T11:08:00.000-04:00

RIVERBANK RUN 2007!!

Last weekend Justin and I ran our hearts out at the Riverbank Run in Grand Rapids. We ran 15.5 miles (25K) and both finished with no problems. After 6 months of training, it feels great to have the race over. The night before the race we were able to enjoy a pasta dinner with our friends who were also running and I was reminded how important it is to enjoy all aspects of life in community.

What a joy to know that many of our closest friends trained with us and on their own all the with the same goals. Who knows if I will ever run another race but it did remind me that taking care of our bodies is Spiritual. Being healthy is a way of praising God and knowing more about Him. I continue to be amazed at how everything I do leads me closer to my creator.

Hopefully we will have more pictures to post as we get them from our committed cheering fans! Thanks to all who came out to cheer us on!

2007-05-07T15:36:00.000-04:00

I was quickly reminded of one thing that I oftentimes forget on a daily basis....

I AM NOT INVINCIBLE!!

One of our youth group members whom we dearly love flipped her car on Saturday afternoon and walked away without a scratch. It was such a miracle. We couldn't believe how lucky her and her sister (and dog) made it out without any injuries. The Lord was watching over them in that moment.

I was reminded of how small I am and how Big God is. How dangerous driving can really be and how important it is to truly be awake at the wheel. Seeing that I have long drives every week to Ann Arbor I think that sometimes I forget that in the split of a moment, my life could be changed forever. I hope this serves as a simple reminder to you today to COUNT your blessings and never forget how sacred life is.

2007-04-29T22:38:00.000-04:00

This weekend we were able to enjoy time with family, friends, and our love of baseball. On Friday we drove to Toledo to see Mark Frens who works with the Minnesota Twins' AAA team. We watched him work with the guys and saw a good baseball game. Afterwards we spent some time together catching up and hanging out. It was great to see him.

Saturday we headed to Detroit to join a large group from our church at the Tigers game. Although they didn't play very well, it was still fun to be at Comerica Park with friends and my brother, Brian. We were able to go onto the field before the game and heard some life stories of some players. It was beautiful weather and turned out to be a great day.

Saturday night we spent the night with Justin's parents in E-town. We enjoyed a steak dinner, some relaxation, and great conversation. The weekend was filled with beautiful sunshine, lots of laughter, fellowship, and time with those we love.

2007-04-17T10:18:00.000-04:00

I was completely anguished to hear of the shootings that took place at Virginia Tech yesterday. I just gave a presentation two weeks ago about school violence and couldn't believe the outrageous number of students who were killed. The shooting is very unique in its plan and the trauma this will cause for many will leave life-long effects. The event was obviously well planned and thought out beforehand, raising even more questions.

As my friend Erin and I watched the news last night we began talking. She asked, "how can anyone do something like this?" To which I replied, "it is impossible for someone to do this much damage, being in their "right" mind."

What do you think? Do you think that Cho (the killer) really "KNEW" what he was doing? Is it possible for someone to really be thinking clearly and cause so much tragedy?

2007-04-16T17:40:00.000-04:00

It has been so long since my last post and so much has gone on since then. My classes are coming to an end for this 2nd term and I will have 2 weeks to enjoy reading, relaxing, and doing little odds-and-ends that I don't usually have the chance to enjoy during our regular routine. I can't wait.

For Easter we went to Ann Arbor to spend time with Justin's family on Saturday and that was really nice. We ate LOTS of food, laughed hard, played cards, watched some Masters, took naps, and drank some wine. It was wonderful. Sunday we went to my grandma's house for dinner with my family. It was also wonderful conversation, catching up, and good food.

This past weekend Justin and I celebrated our Engagement Anniversary (which is April 15th). Last year at this time layed out on the beach under the beautiful sun in Grand Haven and were more than excited about the thought of getting married and celebrating with our favorite people. The following months were consumed with wedding planning, meetings, and celebrations with our friends and family until we couldn't celebrate anymore. It was wonderful!
Today, a year later, as we look back we see that so much has happened. We are still very much in love but can't believe how God has moved through us in the past year. We have gone through many new transitions with friends, our jobs, schooling, and ourselves. Our lives seem so different, so much better. We are thankful to all of you who have loved us so much through the past year.

2007-04-02T18:08:00.000-04:00

TOP FIVE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT SPRING!!

5. The trees are starting to bud (underneath the snow we keep getting)

4. Oberon is out and has made my husband very happy. There is no taste like it.

3. Running outdoors in the beautiful weather!

2. Grilling with family and friends.

1. Tigers started their season officially this week.

2007-03-20T09:55:00.000-04:00

I thought this was an interesting opinion.

This is why sometimes I have a hard time calling myself a "Christian." Any reactions?

2007-03-15T23:00:00.000-04:00

Justin and I were able to go out to Holland on Tuesday night after the first 70* sunny day of 2007. It was so amazing to observe the beauty of God on the snowy pier during an AMAZING Michigan winter sunset. The colors of the sky made us stop to catch our breath while the pure snow surrounding us added greatly the scence. These are just a few pictures we took. Hope you can enjoy them as much as we did. I am still convinced that Michigan has the prettiest sunsets I have ever seen.

2007-03-12T15:47:00.000-04:00

This past weekend Justin and I were able to spend the weekend with the Beck family in Midland where his sister moved about a month ago. We spent some time at her place and hanging out with the rest of the family. It was nice to see everyone laughing together and enjoying the love the family gives to eachother. Our time together never seems long enough!!

Please pray for Andy, Justin's dad who was hospitalized last week for some complications with his heart. They have run some tests to figure out why he isn't getting enough oxygen to his heart and will continue to do more this week. Pray that the doctors are able to find out answers quickly and get Andy back to full health soon.

On another note, today in class my professor said she heard something in National Public Radio today that pretty much sums up the Social Work Profession and I thought I would share it all with you. "Embrace the Suck." Plain and simple. I know many of you are doing that in your worlds today. Continue doing it for the sake of bringing life and joy to others. Blessings.....

2007-03-05T17:20:00.000-05:00

Justin and I had a blast in California with Nick and Whitney. We were able to see many beautiful places, people, and sunny weather. We visited LA, Hollywood, Santa Monica, Malibu, and everything in Pasedena including Fuller Seminary. We walked all over and enjoyed a simplistic lifestyle. We enjoyed many great conversations, meals, laughs, cries, and memories together. Here are some pictures of our adventure out West.

We were able to run around the Rose Bowl a few times while we were down there and enjoyed every mile of it while taking in the mountains, sunshine, flowers, and green. It was so amazing! We also saw Jose Conseco while in Santa Monica and he still looks the same. We also enjoyed a dinner together with the Dykhouse's while we were there. It was wonderful to see them and hear how God is moving in their lives.

We ate the best meal at the Korean BBQ where we cook our own meat on the grill in the center of our table. We had so much food and wonderful fellowship. It is the way every meal should be served! We also saw this quote at the Union Cattle the last night we were there. It pretty much sums up our trip. We ate and drank together, laughed together, and lived and loved together.

2007-02-26T12:53:00.000-05:00

So, I have a lot to post later on about our trip in California but I couldn't help but put this on the blog. They are identical and because Dwight is my favorite, I couldn't help myself. Enjoy

2007-02-22T19:05:00.000-05:00

Justin and I are headed to California for my spring break to spend the week with Nick and Whitney. We have many fun things planned including the Oscars (hoping to catch a glimse of some red carpet), the Price is Right (hoping also to kiss Bob Barker and spin the big wheel), and warm sunny weather! We can't wait! Pray for safe travel, great conversation, and many memories!

2007-02-19T16:08:00.000-05:00

In my Social Policy Class today we talked about Youth Development Programs and how they make a difference in the lives of adolescents in this hard and confusing world they grow up in. We addressed some areas of need that make these programs important for beneficial change when looking at behaviors, emotions, spiritually, and even physically. My professor talked about three specific needs for adolescents that should be met through Development Programs. We then talked about how often the "Needs" identified for youth do not come directly from the youth themselves, but adults who think they know adolescence.

My professor identified these three needs of adolescents....
1. Safety
2. Caring Relationships
3. Connections to the Larger Society

Do you agree with these needs? What do you think Youths would identify as their "Needs?" If you were to develop a program for Adolescents to meet their needs, what needs would you be striving to meet?

2007-02-13T10:37:00.000-05:00

Look at the difference in body types in these wrestlers.

We watched a film today in one of my classes called, "Tough Guise" that addresses the problem of male roles and masculinity being influenced negatively by the media and culture. It was very interesting and some of the results were astounding to me. It talked about how men's violence is not plainly stated within media. For example when a man rapes a woman, the article in the newspaper is more about the woman being raped rather than the fact that the male raped the woman. This is found in almost every violent act done by males. Why??? Because white males have dominance and therefore it is just assumed that males are the more violent gender. But why?

Here is a quote from the fim:
"The marked increase over time in the size of representations of men's bodies, and the concomitant increase in gun size and killing power, provides a kind of cultural rorschak test. They are indications of how the stakes have been raised, how the real man fantasy peddled to and consumed by so many boys has grown increasingly physical, violent and mean. Significantly, even as we observe this phenomenon of increased male body size, particularly in the kinds of representations that predominate in action films, professional wrestling and video games, we can trace simultaneously the shrinking of the ideal body size of women. Such increasingly impossible and potentially destructive images need to be taken seriously, especially in the context of heightening concerns not only about male violence - but about steroid abuse by boys and men, and anorexia among girls and women."

The film talked about how over the years men's bodies have gotten much bigger and powerful while women's bodies have decreased greatly in size.

As a male, do you feel a lot of pressure to be masculine and conform to male roles? Women, do you add to this increased pressure towards males? Any other thoughts?

2007-02-06T09:37:00.000-05:00

We are reading many books about Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) issues and have had numerous classroom conversations. After much reading, the common theme expressed is that people who are LGBT are not by choice. I have always been taught or under the impression that being part of the LGBT community is a choice and is not something you are born with. Not the case, according to the many converations and readings that I have studied.

I am wondering your thoughts? Is being a part of the LGBT community something people are born with or a choice? How does this fit in with Christianity?

Lots of questions have been arising in my mind regarding this issue and have caused me to again fall to my knees and pray for understanding in this gray world. May all the glory and praise be given to him and may I continue to remain judgment free and accepting of all people.

2007-02-02T11:27:00.000-05:00

Should we stay or should we go? That is the question that has been lingering over Justin and my head for the past couple months. With time running short and a decision that had to be made by February 1 we finally decided. Through much prayer, conversations, and other disciplines, the Lord lead us to stay in Michigan for another year. Justin signed at the church and I will start looking for a job come the spring. We feel blessed by the many prayers and support that has lead us to this decision. We look forward to the upcoming year in Michigan.

2007-01-24T15:59:00.001-05:00

At class this week I had some interesting discussions about when I first figured out that there were different races. I am interested in your perspective.

At what age (or grade) did you first realize that there were different races?

Evolution of Beauty

2007-01-19T21:12:00.001-05:00

It has been too long.
I have just started a book called, "Reviving Ophelia" by Mary Pipher for one of my classes and thought this was an interesting quote.....

"Our Western Culture is far from ideal for women. So many gifts are unused and unappreciated. So many voices are stilled. All geniuses born women are lost to the public good."

Then I watched this video.

Do you agree with this statement?

Where do you even begin to make a change?

2007-01-08T16:27:00.000-05:00

Top 10 From 2006

10. Trip to the Florida Keys last Spring

9. Going to Ludington with Doris for a night in July. What a great surprise!

8. U of M football games with Justin

7. Lots of parties and celebrations helping me realize how much I am loved and blessed.

6. The Office (Dwight Schrute is the funniest man ever!)

5. Getting engaged in Grand Haven and then watching a beautiful sunset

4. Getting accepted into the Masters program at the University of Michigan. I have always loved the Wolverines

3. Being at the ACLS Championship game when Ordonez hit a homerun in the 9th inning and the whole stadium errupted

2. Trip to India last January. Can't even begin to talk about how this has impacted my life. (May our hearts be broken by the things that break God's heart)

1. Getting married to the most Godly, inspiring, considerate man in the world and beginning a new chapter in our lives together.

2006-12-07T17:25:00.000-05:00

This week has been flying by. It is amazing how much school social work can really wipe you out. Monday flew by with many girls wanting to meet with me about different situations going on either at school, home, or with friends. Girl Drama never continues to amaze me.

Tuesday was a day filled with observations at the elementary school, which usually involves a lot of nose picking, and then to the high school to catch up with a few girls I talked to on Monday.

Wednesday morning Tom and I lead a group with a class that lasted the whole classroom hour. It involved a lot of disclosure from students about situations that make them uncomfortable, some tears, and lots of honesty. We didn't realize how much some of these kids were really hurting. It was a great experience, but at the same time very exhausting. Soon after I worked with a girl because she is failing her strengths training class due to the fact that she hasn't dressed in 4 weeks. Well, she hasn't dressed because she is struggling with her sexual identity and the girls in the locker room make her feel really uncomfortable. After talking with her, her gym teacher, and her classroom teacher, I devised a contract for them all to sign with some options for this girl to feel more comfortable participating and even dressing for class. This took about 2 hours to complete. Afterwards I lead a girls group during lunch hour with some girls who have learning disabilities. Because many of their maturity levels are quite low, it was very interesting. There was a lot of giggling on their part and not a lot of structure from my end. Soon after, I was called down to a classroom to take a girl out who had just got suspended the class prior and was very upset. We talked for about an hour before our group session began. Then I lead a group with some girls about their appearance and learned a lot about how much they hate themselves. I felt horrible for them and wanted to cry because of some of the things people say to them in the hallways.

It made me realize how thankful I am for my blessings. As I ran afterwards to relieve some stress I couldn't help but think about all these different situations and how I am going to deal with this for the rest of my life. Do I want to be a school social worker? Yes. Is it going to be completely exhausting at times? Yes. Can I handle it? Only with the strength of God.

It is extremely difficult to give hope to people who have no hope in anyone or anything. I struggle to piece together how some of these girls even make it through their days having no hope. I can't imagine living in their shoes, even for an hour. I can't imagine going home to some of the situations they have to go home to.

Even in Hudsonville, people are hurting. Hurting so badly. May God continue to bless my work there and hopefully one day bring peace and hope to some of these kids.

2006-11-30T20:26:00.000-05:00

Today at U of M we had a dialogue about religion. I was in a small group of 5 people discussing many different aspects of religion and it sparked some great thought for me. Answer some of these questions truthfully.....

1. I worry about the ramifications of disclosing my religious identity to others? True or False?
2. I can easily arrange to be in the company of people of my religion msot of the time? True of False?
3. I can remain oblivious to the language and customs of other religious groups without feeling any penalty for such a lack of interest or knowledge? True or False?
4. I can be fairly sure that some hate group does not exist whose goal is to eradicate my religious group from the planet? True or False?

These are just a few of the questions that we had to fill out before partaking in the dialogue. The main topic was centered around this question.....

Do Christians have privilege in today's society?

I really began to wrestle first with the idea of religion, its institutionalism, and how it plays into my life not only as a person of faith but then as a social worker. I struggle to call myself a "Christian" at times, not because I am embarrassed or not proud of it, but because of the box it puts me in. Yes, I am a follower of Jesus and hold true to the values that he possessed (working with the poor, marginalized, accepting people for who they are, etc) but oftentimes that goes against the grain of Christianity because I don't try to "convert" people. Does that mean that I am privileged because at times, I feel persecuted for the people I hang out with, school I go to, or the values of acceptance that I hold.

One thought came up about Christianity that I thought was very mind-provoking. There is a comic strip with a man pointing at his cat saying, "Now, don't you dare go outside of your box" (meaning his cat litter box). Hmmmm....is that sometimes what Christianity says to people? Growing up, this was very true to me. I needed to stay within the Christian box, only have Christian friends, and abide by the "Rules."

I think of the Baptist Church whose website....www.godhatesfags.com represents "Christianity." Oh my. Is that Christianity? If so, I want nothing to do with that. I don't want to be in THAT box.

We then talked about how maybe we SHOULD let the cat poop outside the box, just like we should embrace the mess that exists when we embrace people different than ourselves. We should be hanging out with "Messy" people who are different than ourselves because that is where "Christianity" or "Religion" really lies. Embracing or Accepting People. This is where real freedom lies.

As I think about Christian privilege in our country I realize that many people would claim to be Christians but most of those people are not truly embracing what it means to live a Christian life. Sometimes I feel that I need to be quiet about some of the work I do or people I work with when I am around Christians just so they won't feel like I have strayed or feel like they have to pray extra hard for me. (Hopefully I don't get Justin fired by saying this!!!).

Maybe Christianity or Religion really means embracing the mess.....Living in the cat poop

2006-11-30T18:00:00.000-05:00

If you have some free time and are wondering how much you are worth you should check this out......

www.humanforsale.com

If you do it, let me know how much you are worth. Don't Lie.

2006-11-16T17:17:00.000-05:00

So I will continue to post pictures of Dwight from "The Office" hoping to encourage you to watch this show. He is truly hysterical. I wish that I had a friend like that in real life.....Frens may be the closest to him!! JK. I love Mark.

Speaking of Frens, he came over Tuesday night with Jill and we cooked dinner and hung out. I am officially learning how to cook many different things. I cooked a whole chicken, some stuffing, mashed potatoes, and corn. The best part was, it was edible. I was a bit nervous as I pulled the whole chicken from the bag and then had to look inside....what a surprise. Chickens are now on my "wierd" list.

So today in class we had a diaglogue (not discussion...they are different) about gender. We talked about when we realized our gender, what made us realize this, and how this plays into our everyday life. We came up with these thoughts.....

Males should be (according to our culture): Tough, the Provider, Athletic, Strong, Emotionless, The Pursuer, leader, etc

Females should be: the caretaker, the listener, emotional, weak, beautiful, creative, obedient, etc

Again, these came from my diverse class of people, not just from me. Then we talked about what happens if you go against one of these gender norms. For example, if a guy cries he is seen as a "wuss" or "weak." There are these boxes that culture tries to force people into so that we can abide by certain gender norms.

Is it possible to be outside the box? Does the box still exist? Do people who judge others trying to go out of the box do so because of ignorance or lack of understanding? Should gender norms be a part of culture or should we try to go out of our way to just be who we want to be?

Many people in the group said that going against the culture norms were much more difficult than staying in the box. I agree but also see the norms changing as the years go on and the younger generations (who seem more tolerant) come through.

Any thoughts? I'd love to hear some feedback on this issue. Until then....enjoy The Office.

2006-11-09T15:49:00.000-05:00

First of all, if you haven't seen the show, "The Office" on Thursday nights, you are missing out on many laughs. Unfortunately I have to miss it each week because I have class but Justin and I just finished watching Season II and we laughed so hard. Some of the comments are crude, but if you can picture yourself actually working in a setting of this sort, it will become much more real to you. My favorite character is Dwight Schrute (the Assistant to the Manager) and Justin loves Jim (the office prankster). It has been a great way for us to just relax together and laugh. Laughter is good for the soul.

SOOOOO, after today's class and elections I have been presented with yes, another moment of confusion, which I would appreciate feedback to from anyone who is interested. We had a guest speaker come in today to talk about Gay, Lesbian, Transexual, Transgender, Bisexual, and Queer issues. Overall the exercises and thoughts were very mind provoking and caused me to think deeply about these issues.

He made a comment though that really hit me. He talked about how a Senator who was just elected on Tuesday will probably be bringing forth a proposal to allow Gay Marriage within the state of Michigan. At first my thoughts were, "oh no, I can't even imagine how this is going to go over." After much discussion from both sides, here I sit confused.

Do people in this country have a freedom to marry who they want and recieve the full benefits? I would answer yes.
Why do I mostly disagree with this idea? It hits me as more of a faith issue
Because most gay people agree to choosing this lifestyle and I, like them, have chosen to marry a man, does that change my reflection to this proposal? It does for me.
Where do we draw the line in telling people what they can and can't do? Not sure.

I agree that a Gay couple can raise a family just as well as Justin and I could. Is it fair that partners who have been together for 20 years can't have the same rights as a married couple in the state of Michigan?

Like I said....so many factors play into this but here I sit, struggling over this issue.

He also talked about how people may be born with certain body genitalia but choose to be both. People with this "issue" call themselves, Bi-Gender. We won't get into this issue.

2006-11-06T14:44:00.000-05:00

Yeah! We finally figured out how to put movies on our blogs! Check out our video from Grand Haven with the crashing waves. It was beautiful.

2006-11-02T19:16:00.000-05:00

This weekend Justin and I went up to Traverse City to celebrate my birthday (I am now a quarter century and 1/2 way to 50). It was such a great time. On Sunday we spent the day driving home and visited Ludington, Silver Lake, and Grand Haven. If you have a chance to read his post, that would be great. I thought I would put some pictures of what we saw and how is sparked our thoughts and feeligs about life on my blog so you can have a visual.

As we watched the waves (Nick you would have wanted to surf) crash against the piers and rocks, it truly moved us. I haven't seen anything so beautiful in a long time. Everytime the waves crashed against the rocks it left a rainbow. We tried to capture them by picture but weren't able to do it. What a wonderful reminder that God was there....right there with us, next to us, loving us, and enjoying us--All at the same time. Life seemed to just stop while we reflected on how God is present in all situations and keeps His faithful promises to us.

It is one thing to spend the weekend with the one you love most, but then knowing that God was there with us, made the experience so much more powerful and beautiful.

I leave you with a quote I heard today in class.....
"We must be the change we want to see in the world." Gandhi
This really sparked my mind as I sit in class all day today.

2006-10-19T03:40:00.000-04:00

The Tigers game last week was awesome. Here are some pics to prove it. It was great to not only spend the day with Justin but also to watch the Tigers sweet the Athletics for the ALCS championship. Go Tigers!!

This week was crazy with Student Leadership Starting on Tuesday morning, but I am excited about the group that is joining me. The kids are awesome and seem to have a passion to be challenged. That is nice to see.

At Hudsonville, I have been working with many different students and faculty. We went to visit the tech center on Tuesday afternoon and saw all the different programs available. I realized how unrealistic the expectations are for some of the kids that I work with everyday. Kids want to do Electric or Criminal Justice and they can't even read a sentence without help. It made me realize how hard life after graduation is going to be for some of these kids. I am realizing more and more that without a college education or even a Masters in something, jobs will be extremely hard to get, especially in Michigan. What happens to those people who can't go to college or that fall through the cracks? Should a bagger at Family Fare be their only option? How pathetic.

2006-10-09T18:33:00.000-04:00

This weekend was BEAUTIFUL between the high temps and amazing Fall colors in the trees. As the leaves all change colors, I am remembered why I love living in Michigan. Not to mention the amazing weekend of Michigan sports.

Justin and I were able to spend time together this past weekend watching the Tigers win on Friday night and then going to the Michigan/Michigan State game. What a joy watching Michigan cream State while highlights from the Tigers game were shown on the big screen. Life doesn't get much better than this.

Yes, this picture is what you think it is. A big penis. Don't ask any questions. We had nothing to do with it.

It is wonderful spending time with the one you love as you watch your favorite teams have successful games.

GO TIGERS!!

2006-10-05T12:52:00.000-04:00

This week has gone very quickly because of being busy but it has also veen very enjoyable. My work at Hudsonville schools with social work has picked up and I have already connected with a student who has had much need this week. On Monday we talked about a situation that happened over the weekend with her mom being abused by her boyfriend and how she was scared to go home that day. Tuesday I went and picked up a bunch of hygiene products from Love Inc. for her because her mom doesn't have money to buy her deodrant, lotions, shampoo, soap, etc. On Wed. we sat her down to talk to her about the Child Protective Order that we were going to report against her mom because she and this girl got drunk the night before. Each day has brought new situations for me to experience and learn. It at the same time, breaks my heart.

On a lighter note, Justin and I had dinner with Mark on Tuesday and it was wonderful seeing him again and laughing a lot.

We watched the Tigers lose to the Yankees but enjoyed great conversation together.

We also had our last Wedding Reception last Saturday in Eaton Rapids and our parties are officially over. It was nice seeing people again and meeting them for the first time. I heard lots of stories about Justin and his family that I never knew before. Always a joy!!

This weekend is the big game and you know where Justin and I will be. Right next to the students in our Maize shirts cheering on Michigan. Go Blue!!!

2006-09-28T13:13:00.000-04:00

MAIZE DAY!!!
Justin and I spent last Saturday at the Big House watching Michigan beat Wisconsin in football. It was packed and very loud. The game was awesome and it was great spending time with Justin after a long week of not seeing him at all.

I started last week at Hudsonville Public Schools doing my field placement and think I am really going to enjoy my time there. I love the kids, my instructor, and other faculty. I am learning a ton and doing a lot of testings for kids who are "At Risk." Most of the tests are academic or ADD. I am learning that ADD is very OVERdiagnosed to kids, especially elementary kids.

I am beginning to wonder if the kids that are brought up as "At Risk" by teachers are really being brought up because of the student's best interest or for the teacher's best interest? The kids we see are disruptive in class with their behavior and are doing poorly academically. We are seeing that the reasons they can't focus has nothing to do with ADD but rather the fact that they can't focus. Should these kids be put in "special" classrooms or places just because they are behind their peers by a few IQ points or is it best to keep the child in the classroom? Teachers seem to say, "get them out" (mainly because it is easier for them and the students to learn), but I am seeing that some of these kids may be hurt more in the long run, especially socially by taking them out. Interesting to think about.

Justin and I are trying to figure out our schedules. He works mainly mornings and nights, while I work mostly mornings and days. That leaves very little time for us to spend together. Between YL, church activities, sporting events, and other things that come up during the week, that leaves little Justin and Dawn time. We cherish every moment of time together. God continues to be faithful to us and showers us with love and support. We feel so blessed by our community and friends. Our apartment is now beginning to feel more like home and we love it. God is good!!

2006-09-17T14:21:00.000-04:00

Here it is! The picture everyone has been asking me for. This is just 1 of the 1600 pictures that we recieved from our wedding photographer. She did a great job and we love them all. It will be difficult deciding only 125 for our book.

This weekend we spent celebrating Justin's 25th Birthday up the the cottage in Baldwin. We fished, layed out, watched Michigan kick Notre Dame's butt, ate steak and salmon, and enjoyed eachother's company. It was wonderful. We listened to our ipod music on our new FM transmitter as well. What a great gift. There is no better place to be than at the cottage when it is beautiful and sunny.

It is official. I have been placed at Hudsonville High School for my internship this year. It wasn't what I orinally wanted but unfortunately options were running low and if I chose against this school I probably would have been placed somewhere in Ann Arbor or Detroit. So....for the sake of keeping our marriage strong, I thought I should choose to stay in GR so I can actually see my husband.

It's amazing how much I am learning right now between the changes of marriage, school, and just life in general. Praise God for new opportunities, stories, and challenges. God is faithful and good. He always has been.

Seize the Day......

2006-09-11T12:42:00.000-04:00

The weekend was great! Justin and I spent a lot of time with family and friends after a long week of work and school. My classes began last week Thursday and went really well. It will consist of a lot of reading and papers, but it looks manageable. Hopefully I will feel the same when my practicum begins.

During one of my seminars last week at U of M a white male stood up and said that because there are not many males in the Social Work profession he now understands what it means to be a minority. He is in classes consisting mostly of females and is very uncomfortable at times making comments because he feels that all the females in the room are stereotyping him before he even speaks. I thought it was interesting to hear a white male claim to be a minority in our world. Shortly after, an African American woman stood up and said, "there is no situation where a white male is ever a minority in this world. White males always have privilege and power, whether they are one of many or the majority of people in the room."

What does it mean to be a minority. Can a white male ever claim to be one? It is obvious that in our profession that a white male will move up the ladder more quickly than will anyone else. Do white males have the right to connect themselves with that term?

I also attended a "Gender Identity" seminar where I had to stand up and introduce myself and be identified with whatever it said on my card. I began, "My name is Dawn and I am a bisexual (which was on my card)." Everyone went around and claimed to either be lesbian, gay, transgender, asexual, bisexual, or transsexual. Then we talked about our reactions. I responded saying that I was uncomfortable, not because I was claiming to be bisexual but rather because I never introduce myself normally including my sexual orientation. A woman then responded back to me that, it is a privilege to not have to say that I am straight when I introduce myself. I begged to differ. Does it really matter whether or not we are straight, lesbian, or gay? Should it be a part of an introduction to someone I just meet? If I had AIDS, would I have to make sure that was out on the table too? What poses privilege and what doesn't?

Anyways, enough about my thoughts. Enjoy the day embracing diversity, love, and acceptance of everyone. Praise God that we aren't all the same!

2006-09-06T18:09:00.000-04:00

Today I had a diversity seminar at U of M for 4 hours where we talked about many different issues that I am soon to face what looks like daily. Maybe you can help me out with some of these questions I had after the seminar.

One woman made the comment, "As a social worker (or professional) one must rid themselves of all personal beliefs to work with people." Is this even a possibility? Can one rid themselves of all their personal beliefs in order to work with an individual or do ones personal beliefs motivate all the decisions that the professional makes unconsiously? Is there a way of embracing your beliefs without imposing them onto others?

Another comment was made by a woman, "I want to work with children because they seem to have the most messed up view of reality." Is this a true statement? Should we be focusing more attention on our youth because when really what is learned in the home shapes a child's view immensely? Do we just assume that parent's views on something such as diversity, racism, sexual orientation, etc. cannot be changed but children's views can?

Just a couple questions to chew on. I will have many more as the semester goes on. It looks like all my classes will be on Thursdays with my practicum being on Mondays-Wednesdays. Hopefully Fridays will be a day of rest for me. How wonderful that would be. Justin and I are still trying to figure out all the little details to make our schedules work. What a joy.

Seize the day.....